Mr. Melty Brain

Do you ever feel like your brain has been replaced by a sack of soggy cereal? That’s how I feel, hence the title of this post. I did a lot today. I woke up early and wrote 600 words in my latest web novel. I went on a hike. I came home and wrote another thousand words. I ate a quick lunch and took my cat to the vet. They said he’s healthy, but it still cost me a couple hundred bucks. The price of peace of mind, I guess.

When I got home, I sat down for a third time and wrote some more. I got to a total of around 3,400 words before I had to go pick my wife up from work. My brain felt like mush all day, but by the time we got home, I felt like I could barely string together a sentence. I felt bad for my guitar students. There are two of them, they are brothers, and they’re both sweet boys. I couldn’t focus, so I had them run through a couple of chord progressions and then let them tell me about their days. I feel guilty, but I don’t think they’re old enough to realize when someone isn’t listening.

I finally decided to take a break. I got fifteen minutes to rest my eyes, then had to get back to work. I have a goal to write 5,000 words a day in my new “Subterraria” series. I almost made it back to my computer when I remembered that I had to eat. Writing on an empty stomach doesn’t usually do me any good. I made two quesadillas, a staple in my house. One for me and one for my wife. We sat down and ate together. Besides our car rides to and from work, it’s all the time we get to spend together. Even as I write this blog, she’s in the other room working on homework.

Finals start next week, so we’re both grinding away. I’m not sure what inspired me to start this 5,000-word-a-day deal at the end of a semester. That might have been a bad call. Oh well, I’m already in too deep. I have to keep it up. I don’t just want to succeed. Something has shifted in me over the last couple of weeks. I need to succeed. To do that, I need to write. There’s no way around it. You don’t get to become a good author without writing. I just hope my writing is good enough for now. I want people to read my words and enjoy themselves. I want them to think about it and feel good when they finish.

Tonight, I’m Mr. Melty Brain. It’s harder to stay motivated, but these are the times that matter most. That’s why I write. That’s why I’m writing this blog. I have to learn. I have to grow. I have to become. It is a process. Like most things worth doing, it isn’t easy, and it doesn’t happen overnight. I recently told someone about how much I’m writing. A non-author, mind you. She said, and I quote: “I can’t imagine having that much to say.”

I didn’t find that comment very kind. I don’t think she meant it in a rude way, but it still made me think. How is it I can sit down and write so much. I used to be awful at this. A few years ago, I struggled to get a hundred words down, let alone 5,000. 5,000 was an impossible goal. That would have taken me weeks, maybe even months! Yet, here I am, doing it. It’s not because I have a lot to say, but because I’ve learned how to do it. I’ve gained the ability. I’ve improved a lot, but I have much more work to do.