Baby Boy, South Carolina, and the Little Dancing Fox

Buckle up, y’all. I’ve got some big life updates. Don’t worry, I’ve put all the best bits in bold for those of you that don’t want to read everything.

Before I write anything else, let me first announce that my wife and I welcomed our beautiful baby boy into the world last Sunday. I’ve taken paternity leave, and my wife, Maryn, is now a full-time mom. That means that for the last week, we’ve done virtually nothing but spend time together, change diapers, and give lots of cuddles to our little one.

Of course, just because we had our child doesn’t mean the stress is over. In fact, not only do we need to provide constant care for our son, but we’ve been preparing for the biggest move of our lives. In about four weeks from now, we’re packing up, driving over 40 hours, and moving to Florence, South Carolina.

So, with those two bits of information out, I thought I’d share how we’ve been dealing with so much change. Honestly, I feel like we’re handling it well. That’s not to say that it’s easy, or that I even feel perfectly prepared, but we’ve been taking the stress load one item at a time. 

Why South Carolina?

First off, I’ll be the first to tell you that the decision to move to South Carolina felt like it came out of left field. Anyone that knows me knows I’ve been wanting to move to northern Idaho for years now. Currently living in Spokane, Washington, that would be a fairly simple move. From where I live right now, it would only take us forty minutes to an hour to drive that far.

But life is rarely that simple.

Do I still think it would be great to live in Idaho? Absolutely. In fact, I doubt it would be very difficult. I have the credentials I need to get a job teaching English there. If moving there was our top priority, there’s no doubt we could make it happen, so what changed? Why, after coming so close, have we decided to move across the country?

Trust me, I’ve asked myself these questions countless times over the last month. Every time I do, I feel like I find more and more reasons to move forward with this big decision. So, here are some of my answers:

• It’s 2,000 miles closer to France: One of our biggest life goals is to raise our kid in a way that exposes him to the world. Since my wife and I both study and speak French (and she’s borderline obsessive about France and its culture) we thought moving to South Carolina would help us move to France one day, or at least enable us to spend the summer months there.
• Job opportunity: A few months ago, I completed my alternative route teaching certificate through the American Board program. That meant I could choose between about a dozen different states and start teaching any grade from 6th-12th. When I started looking for jobs, South Carolina had at least a hundred of them. Oddly, I ended up landing a job in Florence, SC, not as an English teacher, but as a STEM teacher focusing on robotics and game design! (More to come on that subject, I’m sure.)
• Cost of living: Anyone that’s looked at house prices in South Carolina knows what I’m talking about. The teacher’s pay is a fair bit lower than other states, but I’m confident that pay will go a lot further in that region.
• Family: My parents, two of my sisters, their kids, and one of my brothers recently moved to the southern part of North Carolina. We won’t be right next to them, but it looks like we’ll be about two hours away.

What’s your favorite part about being a dad?

I cannot even begin to express how fulfilling and amazing it is to be a dad! Though I have to say that it has hit me differently than I expected. Growing up, I always heard stories about how dads immediately felt connected with their kids from the first second they laid eyes on them. That wasn’t me.

Please don’t misunderstand. I loved him even before he was born, but not in the immense and overpowering way I thought would wash over me. Instead, that love has taken some time to manifest. It’s in the brief moments alone with him I catch glimpses of it. The long sleepless nights as I hold him against my chest and feel his warmth against my heart.

No, the love didn’t come all at once. In fact, I imagine it came in the way a sly little fox might seek a long-lost friend, careful, calculated, and wise, with a curious dance back and forth. Over the last week, that love has found its way. 

Now, as I pull the night shifts, my baby boy sits like a calm little frog strapped to my chest. He sleeps, he coos, and he even opens his little eyes occasionally. All the while, that sly but powerful bond between us grows to magnitudes I never thought possible.

I was going to spend some time detailing how we plan to make the move cross-country, but honestly, I don’t really know. We have a thousand possibilities ahead of us, but as I sit here and reflect on the growing bond between me and my son, I’ve had a little epiphany.

I don’t need to figure it all out right now. If all I can do is think about it and take little steps each day, I can figure it out. It scares me. It’s such a big move, a big change! But I need to remind myself that sometimes the answers don’t just come immediately. Sometimes, you have to feel it out and play the part of a sly little fox dancing toward your destination.

I’m sure I’ll have plenty more updates in due time, till then know this. I’m loving being a dad and I’m ready to raise my sail and let the winds of change blow me away.