To Be A Writer

I’ve been thinking for the past couple of weeks about what it takes to be a writer. It’s actually kind of funny when you think about it. The answer is so simple. To be a runner, you run. To be a chef, you cook. To be an airline pilot, you fly. Essentially, to become something, you must do the thing you want to become. In my case, that means I need to write. After all, how can you be a writer without writing? You can’t.

It takes time, but let’s get into the nitty-gritty of the problem. Every aspiring writer knows they have to practice at it to be great, that’s a given. What’s much more difficult to do, is to learn to write always. To be a writer means you write when you have a headache. It means you write when you’re upset, angry, or sad. You must learn to write when deep in the turbulent thralls of emotion. It isn’t easy, but it’s the price that must be paid.

I’m not a writer because of incredible skill, but because I feel like it’s part of my identity. If I don’t write anything for even one day, I get depressed. It doesn’t matter what I write, I just need to get it out. In effect, it is the fire that burns in my soul. Each word I write is another log thrown into the furnace. It makes me feel alive, but more than that, it gives me peace.

I’ve always had a hyperactive mind. I used to sit and shake my head while watching my friends enjoy the simple moments. My thoughts would race as they appeared calm and fulfilled. Not me. Even a chunk of my childhood memories prove that. I recall as an eight-year-old finding myself unable to sleep because I would catch myself in a loop of existential dread. All too often, I found the mere thought of reality and existence painful. I wanted answers, but there were none.

We’re good at that, aren’t we? The world, I mean. We like to think we have everything figured out, but we don’t. I still often find myself lost in my own sea of thoughts, but I found a passing ship and clung to its side. I think we all have a ship that keeps us afloat, we just find them at different times. It took me over twenty years to discover writing, but it’s mine now. I ride it often, and it helps me sail away from the darker waters.

I don’t expect everyone to understand, I know writing isn’t for everyone. I only hope that people find the peace and solid standing I have. If you don’t have that yet, keep looking. You’ll know it when you feel your heartbeat, similar to the way it does when you’re deeply in love, only more calm, more firm.